Concept vs. Reality

“Girl, I want to get married! I want a husband and some kids and a beautiful home!” “I want a luxury car.” “I want $1million!” “I want to have an amazing organization.” Does any of this sound familiar? We have those thoughts all the time. And for some of us, they just remain thoughts. But for others, these thoughts sometimes become a reality. Nothing wrong with that, right? Nothing wrong at all with wanting a husband and some kids and a beautiful home or wanting lots of money or an amazing car or booming organization. Nothing wrong at all. But something could possibly go wrong if these things aren’t looked at and thought through the right way. There are two words (culprits) called “concept” and “reality.”

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines these words as follows:

Concept-something conceived in the mind.

Reality-the quality or state of being real; the totality of real things and events.

Now I know some reading this may be wondering “why does this woman always give us an English/vocabulary session every time I read her blog?” Glad you asked, lady! I do this because my goal is to not just entertain you with my words (which I absolutely hope I do entertain you). But my goal is to bring some practicality and realness into every blog I write. I want to educate and empower you, girl.

But back to my thoughts…several of us have fallen victim to that darn concept monster, haven’t we? We LOVE the idea of how marriage sounds. We LOVE seeing families spending quality time together, praying together, laughing together, just doing life together. What we fail to allow ourselves to see though, is the reality of it all. Sure, the family may be amazing to look at and yes they may be #FamilyGoals, but what did it really take to develop such an amazing family? Because see, there is a cost, love. There is a cost to everything whether we see it or not. There are sacrifices made. Some easy, many hard.

I’ll use myself as an example (the BEST example). I am in my 2nd marriage. My first marriage lasted for almost 10 years. The concept of being married showed me that life was grand. It was all about me. How I could get pleased. What was in this for me. How could my husband make me happy. Me, me, me. My thinking and a host of other unnamed circumstances is what eventually lead to a divorce.

I am the mother to two beautiful girls. As a mother, it is one of the greatest joys/gifts/jobs on Earth. However, it is the MOST taxing! This role requires a woman to be ALL things to her child. To give her TOTAL self to her child. And to groom another human being into (hopefully) a well-rounded, model adult.

Several of us have gotten caught up in the fairy tales we see on Facebook or Instagram. We see the beautiful celebrity families, men doting on their beautiful wives in their beautifully polished homes, with their amazingly beautiful children. Life is just amazing…but again, we fail to see the back side, the REAL side of life.

Concept tends to smokescreen us. We fall into the traps of wanting something so bad that we begin craving it. There is a story in the bible of this very thing. In Numbers 11, the people complained constantly about their living conditions and levels of comfort. The concept of being back in Egypt seemed so much better than their reality of being free. In this chapter, their complaining was about the food they got to eat. Since being free, God provided manna to the Israelites. But of course, they wanted more. They wanted meat. They complained so much until that’s exactly what they got…meat, and a whole lot of it. So much so until they died eating it. I encourage you to read the story.

Here’s my point, ladies. Don’t allow concept cause you to chase someone else’s reality. You don’t know what it cost them to be that successful entrepreneur or that beautiful married couple for 20+ years with the beautiful children or that bangin’ BMW with all leather interior (peanut butter color..oops did I just put that in there…) or that beautiful dream home or those stacks (millions). Everything, I mean E-VER-Y-THING comes with a cost!

Lastly, if you don’t get nothing else out of this blog, please get this, Linda. The absolute best thing you can do is work on and love you right where you are in this moment. Learn who God created you to be. Learn what it means to be a wife, mother, successful homeowner, entrepreneur, etc. Learn the successes AND the failures. Talk to some people who have walked in those shoes and can give you a wealth of treasure in wisdom. Don’t rush what can potentially damage you in the future.

**YOUR TURN**

What are some ways you’ve gotten caught up in concept?

How has looking at the reality of something taught you about the way you think?

Are you willing to wait on some things now that you understand the reality of it?

#marriage #divorce #husband #concept #reality #perception #wife